Notes from a Quiet Grey Morning

the sky is grey, the sand is grey, and the ocean is grey. i feel right at
home in this stunning monochrome, alone in my way.

-Ani DiFranco, “Grey”

I’m alone in the house today, and I’ve found a moment between my various unfinished projects to share a few thoughts.  I mentioned the 30 day Change Your Vibration challenge in my last post, but at that time I hadn’t really figured out how I wanted to approach my thirty days.  It’s a very open-ended assignment, one that gives every participant room to explore and find small actions that create meaningful change on a personal level.  I am constantly striving to change my life for the better, so choosing one thing to focus on that I can carry throughout the month and that will make a noticeable difference took some thought.  I know it doesn’t have to be one thing, but if we’re talking about creating new habits and changing old patterns, one change is a good starting point.  I’ve decided that I’m going to hold myself to a thirty day writing challenge.  I am a writer.  Writers need to write regularly, and that is a truth I’ve pushed aside far too often in recent years.  I’m hoping to change that pattern.  Now, I may not actually post here everyday, but if I’m writing everyday, I will be much more likely to find things to share in this space as well.  Be on the lookout.

With that said, I must report that I’ve already missed a day.  I spent yesterday morning in the mountains, reading and teaching kids yoga.  Mornings are my usual time for writing, so once I missed that window, it was difficult to fit words into the rest of my day.  I know I helped raise the vibration of the 40 little yogis I was working with, though, so it seems like an even trade.

That’s the thing about changing your patterns and forming new habits.  It’s a practice in and of itself.  You have to be forgiving of your shortcomings and acknowledge that change does not occur over night.  For me, that means that I have to forgive myself when I do miss a day.  I have to circle back the next morning and try again.  I have to recognize that it doesn’t mean I’ve failed or that I should give up, it just means that I’m human and my work isn’t done yet.

Perhaps one of the best indicators of whether or not a habit has taken root is how it is affected by disruptions.  Once we get to the point where missing a day is simply missing a day, not the beginning of the end or an indication that we are backsliding into our old patterns, I think it’s a sign that the changes we’ve made are starting to stick.  Thoughts?


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